I’ve been here before. But this time, it’s different.
There’s a light that feels familiar, yet unknown considering the time it’s felt foreign. Navigating doubt where confidence should reside. Constantly seeking validation outside of myself. Defining my worth and giving sole credence to what I hear externally, without consideration to my own innate knowing. This is how I’ve led my life for most of it – the world got ahold of this girl and made her what they wanted her to be. No longer is that the case.
Opinions are rampant here, a lot of times communicated as factual points instead of pondered potentialities. And in a world polluted by these thought bubbles, (followed by exclamation points and periods, rather than ellipses) it’s nearly impossible to hear your own. Funny that that’s where the truth lies.
I’m not sure where this will take me by any earthly definition, but I know internally, deep in my being, that this is the way to the light. To express and to share, to make and create. To be true to my calling. Silence the mind chatter that is not constructive and unapologetically lean in. I rarely follow the plans I set creatively, so I’m choosing not to be so rigid in these unraveling moments as it limits the experience and, ultimately, the end result. But I do have a number of ideas floating around. Some of these have come to me as I simply explore what this business could become, but many ideas have been queued up, in their thought bubbles, waiting to become tangible and realized. With thought and intention, comes action. And that’s another personal point of contention that I’m working through diligently, day by day, in more ways than just my art.
If you halt your passions, you halt your living. And I’m done with all that. They say that life is short, and you only get one – and although I don’t entirely believe in that sentiment, I choose not to waste the time I have. These moments are precious – it’s time to live as such.
Even if I tried, I couldn’t count how many attempts there have been to start my own business. I would need multiple hands. The ways I seek out eliminating limitations, the times I’ve told family and friends how boxing yourself in only creates barriers – yet I’ve spent most of my time doing the same regarding my work.
I have been led by my inner dialogue of limitations: “well, I majored in photography, that’s gotta be the preferred medium” “it’s what I studied thus it’s what I must do” or “I enjoy it so this must be it”. But I’ve always been a creator. In every sense of the word. Using my hands and their digits, painting on surfaces of any kind. Arranging flowers to optimum beauty. Leather-craft + stained glass summer classes funded by my parents in my youth. Doodling in between lectures or on transportation that I’m not conducting. Playing with clay. Picking up the camera. Dancing with every inch of my being. I’ve been here and always have – to create through love and light.
And when you break it down like that, there’s no medium for this except one – the heart.
To follow that innate beating that keeps us alive without much thought, to hear her call and not balk when the fear defenses or doubt come up to bat… that is living. And that is what I am here to do.
Thank you for being here. Whether you know me personally, or just found my page on a whim – you are here for a reason. And I’m here to connect with all of you. To share and explore the possibilities of the unlimited. I hope to inspire you to do the same, in big ways or small.
It all matters.
You matter.
Just like I matter. (Something I’ve only just recently begun to believe with every fiber of my being.) Each individual that is here on this planet is here for a purpose. Find yours. And don’t limit yourself or the ‘purpose’ to a money-driven end result. Life is not free, but it is also not a happy place when it is funded by an obsession of financial gain. At least in my opinion.
Find your heart, find what makes it beat ferociously. And vibe to it. Your heart is not only here to pulse a beat and keep you living. It’s within you to encourage listening and through that, inspire action. It is the key.
That is the point of this space. That is what I’m here to do.
So… let’s do it.
