Shout out to all my mamas out there –
The ones who helped raise me, from birth up until this now moment.
The ones who were there for my own mother as she navigated twin girls that were unplanned blessings.
The ones who were there for me after she passed.
The ones I’ve never met.
becoming a mother, this light switch turns on. you assume the role, sometimes, for the stranger next to you. No matter the age, sex, creed… you become this innate caretaker, a flexed muscle without thought. Second nature.
That’s being a mother. At least to my understanding.
I’ve witnessed so many go above the standard response once they’ve become a mom. My own included.
“Need a snack?”
“I can help you with that”
“What happened? Come here, it’s okay.”
“Where’s his mother?”
“You’ll get it when you become a mom” I’ve always heard. But I don’t think I need to become a mom to understand the piece of heart and soul that ignites once you give birth to another human being. I may not know the feeling exactly, but I understand.
you spent months carrying for someone you didn’t know, yet knew so well already. Love swelling more than any limb.
Preparing yourself for the love of a lifetime. Holding an incomparable compassion for another being you yet know nothing about, while simultaneously continuing to understand what it’s like to hold compassion for yourself in the process, an endless journey.
My wish for you this Mother’s Day… Not roses, not breakfast in bed, although I hope that you get all that you desire and require.
No, my wish for you is to never cease that journey towards compassion of self, that inner quest you quite frankly may have abandoned a month or two after discovering the joy that was on the way.
I ask you don’t forget about your “little girl”
Your Self.
Don’t neglect the little one that got you to the moment you’re in now. Don’t abandon your desires just because it doesn’t fit into the new life you’ve created. Make space and time for yourself and your needs.
Sure, it’s easy for a person without kids, without constant-yelled demands, clean up and care on top of the chores that are needing accomplished, to say.
Yeah, I understand it can feel a little triggering or demeaning but it’s truly given here with the utmost compassion and reverence for women everywhere in the same boat you are in.
Think of all the time and effort you spend pivoting the planned day for others. Your spouse. Your kids. The neighbors or friends. The dog. What’s needed in that moment. No shade to the dads out there, as most contribute high efforts and some assume the role of mother but for the air of today and what’s in my heart – the woman really is a superhero. When I talk about the compassion we hold for others, it goes unmatched. We are always, always thinking of others. How others feel, how others will adapt, how others feel (again) in order to make sure everyone is comfortable. But what about you? When was the last time you did more than just consider what you felt about it, if that’s something you still consider.
In my observation, most moms check in with themselves at the end of an arduous day. And sometimes, they don’t even “have the time” for that because they’re busy preparing for the chaos of tomorrow.
I get it, I really can’t comprehend the amount of emotional work and physical stamina it takes to care for another human being(s). Really, the whole family and household. No days off, right?
I invite you to change that today. Whenever you are reading this. Spend time with yourself. Even if it’s just your breath. Hand on belly and over heart. Two minutes. Breathe into yourself.
What do you desire? What have you put on hold? What do you need?
And not in a shame yourself kind of way, but in a reigniting way. A new illuminance of what is needed.
Except you are the star. You are the considered.
I wish you the happiest Mother’s Day. I hope it is just what you need.
For the mothers without their child physically here. Those still trying, those still wishing, and those with their rainbow here present:
I see you. I honor you as a mother to those children above. And I wish you a bright and gentle day where instead of looking back you look forward to all that’s to come.
